Inside Bollywood: Cancerous Sores, Kavyanjali and one Monkeys Ass

Welcome to The first Declared edition of "Inside Bollywood", By your White Gypsy Guru Colin McLeod!

Rice

Tilda. Yes i Love Tilda, I've loved her since birth. She straddled me in my cradle and kept me warm at night. i used to play with Tilda in the Bath, until Tilda ruined all the Pipes and made mommies pipes burst. Tilda is my Rice. I Buy Tilda in England(but available in america too!). Tilda is in a fancy Bag, has a fancy zipper, says Tilda is great and You should Cook With Tilda.

One day, My beloved Tilda Creators acknowledging that i truly had a deep affection for tilda tossed me into a super Market named Spar in India (but also in Europe). --Tilda is not concerned with The name Spar..Tilda is and always will be concerned with her little grainy self. its okay because we LOVE Tilda.--Tilda's Creators instructed me in my divine love for Tilda to Shop in the background while Tilda's Fame grew even larger on the Great Eye and stimulus projector.

I was a content little Asian....Until Some Tilda Loving Impostor invaded my Tilda's personal Space. the Guy was full of Pomp and that girl just couldn't honestly Love Tilda they she needed to be loved (thus it took like 1 hour to shoot her 15 second scene), so they made her pretend to love it but she couldn't even do that.

So what did i do?
Yes! ask it right now before continuing to read on. ? I was pushing my cart walking up the isle, slowly encroaching upon Tilda and The Impostor Rice Lover Females Backside. There's lots of Food in supermarkets! Lots of Rice! More rice than your average supermarket: ASIA! I Grabbed me up some of that Rice (Not Tilda), It was Tilda's Rival, Which is every Farmer and Cook and Breed and Atom not related to Tilda in the cosmos, and Lovingly Placed my New Rice in THE SHOPPING CART! MUHAHAHA. Little do they suspect that Behind Tilda's back and Impostor, lies a Bag of RICE In A CART, Slowly but aggresivly encroaching upon Tilda's Fame.

Now For you Hungry Asians in England, You Can Help me Out. Sometime on a TV Near you In England Only, lies a commercial Named Tilda, for White Rice. You can tune in Day and night Until the Glorious Day that you see me in my Pink Shirt Casually perusing the Isles in search of Rice, and Charging the Hill (with my new rice)in my Yellow Shirt and Cart, Attacking the Tilda. This may be in two weeks, maybe a month.
I'm Not entirely Sure.

INGRAIN this name in your brain, to stimulate refreshed and obedient determined concentration and observation upon the outside entity that utters the word: TILDA!

Then you can see me!

Sugar Rice With Monkey Sauce

Additionally, and Incidentally i wasn't playing Contumacious Guru the Whole night, Only twenty min. The time was spent from 8pm to 6am, not sleeping, but prancing about in a supermarket with 3 other white people, Jon From Canada, and two women from Sweden. The Women Named Nikki, began Flexing her control upon me by calling me monkey and slapping my ass all night long! follows also and warm soft and still intense affection upon the back, arms, hands, fingers. Good healthy Flirting, and body sensuality. ---A MASSAGE!

Of Course: We were in constant advisement by peering eyes, being on a set has that drawback, but no attention we paid, eyes shut just holding each other cuddling. aaaw how cute! well it was going well, until it went great! We, are passing each other in set on set, on camera, over and over as shes shopping and so am i. Eventually......................................

bre ak


time comes along. she desires to inform me of the 4 types of orgasms. that went something like this: The Negative, The Positive, The (I Forget) and The Fake. Yes i know that was anti-climactic, but in real life not only did every blood vessel in me surge, my voice begain in harmonious pursuit of hers, (until the fake, cus baby there was no faking that energy)followed by the Pricked ears and Increased blood flow of the Dozen or so Indian Males sitting around with nothing else to do, eyes suddenly popping to meet our direction.

Hmmm....There was no discretion in her voice, i was her backup ensemble, she said she couldn't have done it without me. hehe. Little miss 29yr old Nikki Kept asking to spank her "monkey" (aka ME) all night long The monkey was enthralled by this new designation and his ass was only partially sore. Incidentally not from her slapping but from uncomfortable chairs, taxi rides, steps, toiled seats, floors, counters, shelves, upside down trash cans and more.

Coughs. Excuse me, what did i say about being on set the whole time? Well we were on set the whole time, though our Coordinator (guy the comes scouting for us and brings us to set and home) did offer repeatedly to fancy the backrooms as they were away from peering eyes. We responded as such that it was completely and utterable unnecessary and the sexually repressed people of the world should be excluded no longer from affection. That's not to say we wanted to massage their backs too...

Well the Women went home to sweden the Following morning, But that Morning we all went back to their place (that is me and John--whose a really good friend from the past couple weeks) slapped around one of the jumbo size balloons guys are always trying to sell on the streets then joined hands in circle formation to meditate standing up for along ass time. mind you at this point we hadn't slept for 24 hours. yess good. The mind is dead, the Ego is Struggling in in a final fatal Futality and our energy is radiating happy Bliss. Then we collapsed to the floor, they collapsed first, i went lotus and continued, but retreated to laying on my back head straight on the hard tiled floor when i found myself and waking up falling to the ground. VERY ALARMING!

Then we woke at like noon, they decided they were sick of prossers and wanted luxury for their last night. Jon and I, are fond of prossers as its the nicest room in colaba for 600 and its massive.(several occasions we have tried to escape the bed bug ridden infectious salvation army for the spacious white hygene of prossers, no avail) BIG BIG ROOMS. so they were like To THE TAJ!

We escorted their bags to the Taj (and upstairs, where was the fucking Bellboy!!!) to their rooms, then we hung in their rooms and awked at the splendor. yea it was nice. not spacious, had bad room design, so not fung shui or anything vibing shanti. just cramped with stuff ostentatiously. i expected better for the famous Taj! i really did, i wasn't all that impressed. any who it was cool. yea so we left, they stayed. i saw em later that night, for a bit helped them haggle for some stuff. got Nikki's contact and that be it. Yea!


But that's not It for Colin- The Bollywood Porn Star.

Porn: a Candorously cancerous expression of Maternal Desires to Excrete energy from a base level, forming in the minds of fictitious reality bound upon the bonds of 'A Far seeing Portal of Electromagnetic waves' converted to a sense we Primal Creatures can Comprehend as: Sight and Sound, The End gain being: To Produce nipple numbing pleasure.....

....But i only asked her to Dance! and that Married Women was so bleakly Arctic, a Polar Bear could run over her neck with dry ice and she would turn around to remark a Shrew with a Cold. That women didn't give as much as a wink of sincere scorn nor adulation. This all transpired in front of her Husband, She got a barrage of obscene verbal artillery afterwards, let me tell you.

Let me Also tell you How the Dialogue went:

Jai: So, You like they Party?
John Fernando (me): Yeah its great, But i don't know some many people here.
Jai: Aw don't worry man, heh, wait. "Bleak Bitch" come over here.
"Bleak Bitch": Yes Jai?
Jai: "Bleak Bitch":(In Hindi) I would like you to meet John. John (in English) Meet my wife, "Bleak Bitch".
John: Nice to meet you. (it was 'hello, how are you?' but the bleak bitch had to have it changed for the close up shot)
"Bleak Bitch": Thank you (insincere Shaky fraudulent piece of unwholesome stinky stucky cheese! WOMEN!)
John: May i Dance with you? Extends hand in a congenial manner.
"Bleak Bitch": I'm Sorry (lieing again you Artic cheese), I Can't.

Bleak Bitch walks off, accompanied by shocked confusion from John.

John (aside to Jai): What Happened to her?
Jai: Excuse me yada yada... wife's a bitch yea i know...
END SCENE WITH JOHN!

Any who Jai's a really cool guy, though i forgot his real name, he's the younger brother on this kinda like Soap Opera TV Show about a big rich family, with a great Grandma, Uncles, Bros Sista's Moms and Paps. My friend is 23, the women who plays his mom is 26...heh hehe GNORT. The Show is named Kavyanjali. For More Information please visit: http://starplus.indya.com/serials/kkavyanjali/index.html

I Watched This Show Shortly after the Publishing of this Blog last night, and Recorded my Appearance with my Digital Camera from the TV. My part aired April 28, 2006 and was filmed April 27. Im gonna find out about this show tonight, available to my discretion every week day night on star plus at 9:30pm. My part airs tonight or tomorrow. this was filmed yesterday. They say they'll call me back for an encore(well that's my word, MUHAHAHA) ---no im scripted in to re-appear...so they say.

Well thats all for this Edition of Hanky Pants.

In one last Developing Charade: Watch Colin's Debut on Kavyanjali http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=colin+mcleod+Bollywood - It will take an additional day(or less) before it's published and viewable.

Colin McLeod Can successfully and pleasureable make these animal sounds:

Cow
Dog
Cat
Pigeon
Monkey***
Turkey
Horse
Rooster (still working on this one)
I suspect, theres one more, but i forgot it.

Something Snazztastic

Well im STILL in Mumbai, Bombay, Somewhere in India, On the other half of the world, Outside the USA, On a different planet, In Existence. Though So are you.

Dont be to shy everybody were all amounting to the same energy. you can divide and color eachother as much as you want but "God doesnt deny you" - OSHO

Well fuck i just wanted to add something: but you should go to the bottom

Mumbai is paying off. In Fun, In Money, In unexpected experience. I've been doing the extras in movies and commericials things as a mocked white guy for indians lately, as your all well aware. I may have commented facietiously on me becoming a rising star but slowly it is taking place. I, Colin Mcleod will be feat. in an advertisement for Chewing gum (Dental Cleaning) in an Italian Magazine come a few months. ludicrious i know, but it was fun. the fun beat all the other funs in this business. it started with a cellphone camera taking my picture and sending it to the big wigs of this photoshoot. well they liked my face. they liked it so much they decided to make me the star of the advertisment. BAAM BOOTY!

It Goes something Like this.

A couple days ago i arrive on set Location somewhere between Andari and the Mumbai Airport. it was a Shanti Set. The Shantiest i've ever been (Peace is Shanti) we they hauled in around 5-6 white people for the shoot. the set was an airplane. they were building half an airplane. WOW! and taking pictures of the seats. WOW! ok thats boring.

But They held food for us. Never in this business have i received breakfast in the morning only lunch and snack in the afternoon. usually its because we get there at 9am much too late. but they held the break fest for us specially until we arrived. AND IT WAS GOOOD. LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of GOOD FOOD. i was blown away. normally theirs so many people that you can only have like one portion and then it goes. also you have to deal with the indian idea of Lines---HEHE. here was so nice and peaceful we got our breakfast got our Chai (note this was the best CHAI i've had in india or close too), and there was always chai, chai and coffee. never had trouble getting some chai. in the bollywood industry its an ordeal to procure some chai. they gave our chai in glasses. so big cups of chai too. wow. then we sat around and chatted and rested and lounged and relaxed for awhile while they finished building the set. the gave us chips and cookies then BROWNIES. like homemade TASTY brownies. which was the weirdest thing to see in india. Brownies that were way good and not from barrista's. then they served us lunch. we hadnt done anything all day so we were all full on breakfast and brownies. ooooh its good to be full on tastyness. this set was air conditioned to the max. like nice and cool. the set completly beat every other set ive been on.
The people were so nice and relaxed. when on bollywood set everybody is moving constantly, the vibe is very frazzled and rushed. you also have the star syndrom. everybody changes their attitudes a few notches when you have big stars on location. when theres no one big and only a couple people for the shot its quiet and peaceful. so were chilling and laughing with the producers.
THEN
they got me changed. that had sent me to a tailor for measurements. they went out and bought nice new clothes just for me (i kept the sexy yellow t-shirt)

AND NOW

Im sitting in the middle seat on this sexy hot airplane. when your looking to the window you swear your headed to the sun. Your blind and your on fire when you look at/touch it. luckily for me i had a FAT indian guy on my right side that took all the heat. unluckily for me He was really fat, and an equally if not larger fat guy was sitting on my other side. They were squishing me in. this was the point.

It went something like this. These two fat FAT guys are so fat, so sleepy, and so unconcerned with my comfort that i cant actually get up to go to the bathroom to BRUSH MY TEETH. Luckily i have (insert Brand name i've never heard of) Chewing Gum to clean my teeth for me on this (assumingly) LONG plane ride.

YEP! and Im PIST OFF and Grumpy and irritated that these fat guys are fat and sitting on me. it was alot of fun. the fat guys were awesome. we just joked and laughed the whole time. they put makeup on me which was crazy. i looked like a girl. cus girls wear makeup and it was weird. so for like 1hour 1/2 i got to make faces at the fat guys while the took like 300 photos positioning everyone and everything.

So my italian friends when i find out what magazine it is. you'll be the first to know and see me COLIN IN ITALY!

Then i met a guy. this Guy is named manish. Manish is a new to the business of Film Directing. But i like him. hes a good guy, a nice guy. and he has casted me in his new movie titled:

"Love Story"

Directed By: Manish Tiwary

A young college fresher, Apu – bored with his life in college in Delhi – takes on his best friend's challenge if he can have sex with 3 women in a day. The women that Apu finds himself attracted to range from a prostitute, to a virgin, to a rich model. As our protagonist searches for women he can love, what is explored are the very nature of friendship, male bonding, voyeurism, sexual perversion and love.

Synopsis:

The film is set around students in Delhi University. Through two university hostellers, Apurv, a rich cosmopolitan guy and, Sanjay, an old-fashioned Bihari guy, the film juxtaposes the 'new' and the 'old' in our society. Sanjay represents the romantic and the idealist who has steadfastly pursued goals using conservative means. On the other hand, Apurv's life is directionless. He is a modern day skeptic who between the two ways to know love – emotional and carnal - chooses the latter. The three female leads, that of a prostitute, a school girl and a rich model are intricately used not only as love interests of our heroes but also to have the viewers chart a range of emotions. This film uses a rich ensemble of characters, stories and themes to aptly reflect the mood of urban India.

Apurv has just started his college life in Delhi. To avoid the harsh hostel ragging, he spends a few nights in the city's red-light area. Here, he is introduced to Vaisali, an attractive but sharp-tongued prostitute. Apurv joins the hostel residents in a grand yet eerie celebration of the final day of ragging. He is introduced to the hostel's band-of-boys: Sanjay, a popular presidential candidate in the upcoming college elections, Sonu, an energetic loafer and a Sanjay loyalist, Deepak a visually-impaired hosteller with homosexual leanings, and Mark, an indophile American.

Apurv, more relaxed now, begins to discover life in the hostel, college and neighbourhood. However, lectures in the college have little exciting to offer. He remains bored and pensive, and looks for a challenge that could make his life more exciting and meaningful. In the neighbourhood Apurv meets a school-going girl, Kintu whom he wants to befriend while she coquettishly remains noncommittal. He also continues his visits to Vaisali at the kotha. Apurv's major preoccupation is trying to find women he can love.

In the background, rages the politics of college election complete with student gang wars and Sanjay's maneuvers for the presidential slot. Here enters Prerna Heerjawahar: a hot and rich girl with beauty crown aspirations. Sanjay's charismatic performance in a loud street fight ensures Prerna's fascination for Sanjay. Soon the ambitious duo becomes the odd pair on the campus.

Meanwhile, Apurv has made a limited headway with Kintu – she will allow him to come along for a movie, share a cigarette and an odd kiss. Kintu's ex-boyfriend, Rajesh finds this unpalatable and beats Apurv up. Sanjay's gang avenges this. The same evening, Rajesh is dragged out of his house and brutally pulverized. Apurv can now deal with the 16-year old Kintu at peace. However, Kintu's mother with middle-class values intact ensures that the progress remains slow. Apurv's other interest, Vaisali has proven to be more than a handful. She remains brazen and offensive. Apurv decides to try seducing her into submission – taking it as a sign for a prostitute falling in love.

At a party (-turned-orgy) at Prerna's farmhouse, Apurv hits off with a new girl. The smooth seduction makes Sanjay admire the easy charm Apurv has with girls. The next day, sitting in an old monument, Sanjay challenges him, if he can have sex with 2 women on a single day. The quiet of the place and his own confidence prompts Apurv to say, "Yes, I can". Sanjay throws another bait, "Can you do 3 women in a day?" Apurv answers in negative, but now he has finally got a challenge he wants to live up to. The task carries both a visceral and a symbolic meaning for him. Apurv spends the rest of the film pursuing this goal. For Sanjay, the race for the college elections too has heated up. He is the top seeded candidate but has got two popular and powerful rivals to beat. The film now moves towards a volatile climax. For all the indulgence and decadence that Apurv thinks he can afford, someone now needs to pay a price.

Love Story explores the very nature of friendship, male bonding, voyeurism, sexual perversion and love. This original screenplay full with realism and black humour shows the coming of age of not only a young man but also the social codes & mores of Delhi.

you now understand that i am Mark. Mark....well i dont know a whole lot about him but i do know this.

He's Perceived to be a Pimp by indian societal Standards...that is to say he always has a girlfriend. he starts the movie with one. and everyone thinks my GF is "easy" because shes dating me/im dating her. indian men think white women are sluts and put out. thus you can see the connection to a indian women who dates a white man.

well she dumps me because i hit on her aya (spelling--House maid) then i get a new one. well i have some lines but i havent looked at them. in the business you dont memorize lines before hand. you memorize them the day of or the scene of.

i'll be shooting for 13 days starting may 13 in Dehli at one of the university's.

I also will be in an Implied Sex Scene. and a scene where my GF kisses my naked shoulder and says i love you. i also asked to make sure that i would not be in any gay scenes. he said the deepek wont be kissing me. GOOD. though i wont be kissing any women either. thats still taboo in films.
but this film is pushing india's society this is not bollywood its low-budget and independent.

Ill enjoy it bundles

My ipod has broke. im trying to fix it right now. but it looks like i have to reformat it and lose ALL my music. fuckles. oh shitty shits
sighs yesterday-today im okay with it, cus theres no other way to be.


Yes adding something now april 20. like dude I figured out what Yawns are. for like the last 4 years i've been yawing at wierd times, times when i an consioucs or accept somehting or do somthing i dont want to do. i've never been able to really peice together the meaning of it all. and i've been anaylizeing it for like 4 years. but i was drinking with my indian friend in andari, mumbai the other day (before i left) we were riding home in the rickshaw with women in the middle (not important) and i YAWNED. then it hit me. the realization of a yawn is this. Yawning is silence. Im gonna do some research into it. but i've noticed this for awhile and put it together. everything becomes quiet when you yawn. your mind dissapears cant think extraneaous thoughts(harder too), your hearing is limited quite substantially. bassically all your senses are dampered. and you kinda like freeze, your not breathing either. so yawning is silence. a connection with our divine creator. a connection to your soul, so beautiful it talks to you too. in the morning i took it a step further and compared yawning with Samahdi (the Breatheless state of meditation). totally cool yeah. yeah. im sexing northwards....hahahaha -end addition

aaah no-yes...its completly FUCKED. I cant even reformat it. aarhhh

take care my cool cats,

meow and food

Greed, Lies, Silence and Harmony

Yeah!
Well how does this all fall out. First I feel to splop down this little tab: that writing this blog is on the harder side as you'll all soon know why. im noticing the resistance im feeling to informing the blog readers of this incident.

So on March 28th. yea that's right. I had recently arrive back into Indian, from Thailand. chilling in mumbai. I wrote a blog. the next day everything changed. that blog said I was going to Pakistan. the present course has been shifted away from that. I also said I wasn't gonna do any more bollywood movies as a white farangi, I lied. I've done 6 shoots and have seen with my own two eyes and touched the biggest star in india: johnny Abraham, he has just released a movie called Taxi 9211 and its great, and I will be in his upcoming movie titled something like "buuble"or something in a dance club as a cool guy in a suit, though there are many. so I suppose to say this bit and back track to why I'm doing all this:

I let myself be scammed out of about 80% of my remaining funds. a great story this being the first time I've elucidated it explicitly.

I was walking. this guy approaches me, like normal in India. starts talking to me, asking me what I'm doing in Indian yada yada. he tells me he sells like rugs and stuff and is opening shop in England as well for imported Indian goods. eventually hes like I'm trying to get money over to England though and theres some funky restrictions so I need your help. Immediately, funny, *sighs* a big whaap went off inside my head that titled "SCAM" but he also said I would make some money. so I was like well might as well listen to what this guy has to say and if it is a scam then ill just tell walk away.
But it didn't happen like that. I never walked away. why? I never stopped to think about what I was doing and the situation I was in. I never stopped to put the pieces together. I never stopped. so what happened? I got caught up in the moment. I met another guy he was introduced as the tourist who did this yesterday and made money. he was from Jamaica or so he said. so everything that was said sounded great and in itself it was fine. I never touched any cash I had I just had to run convert some money into a travelers check under my name, that he gave me at a bank and give it back to him and he gives me some cash. yea so with that I didnt really care to look into the situation, because it required no collateral on my part. then he was like "but i've had my money stolen before doing this by some french guy. so I want to know that you have money before I get into this with you." this was the way he got me to withdraw money out of my atm to be able to see I had it. obviously you can read this and be like wow thats just not sounding right--- any of it. I got caught up in the moment and I got greedy, thus I didnt think.

so any who I progressed from there that we would go meet his uncle who conveniently worked at a bank and was in on this little think, where he would meet me see I had some cash then hand over cash and let me do my thing for him. though this is the part where it all fell apart, I was never supposed to give up my cash, relinquish control of it. it was never stated. and thus the reason I kept listening and walking with these guys. but then the Jamaican guy gave his cash to the guy and the guy "went to the bank and had the money counted by the uncle " returned and then it was to be my turn. he was like yea you give me your money then he counts and I come back. I was like I dont want to be away from my money. he was like okay you follow me and stand outside across the street. his reasoning being its all drawing suspicions from other curious indians. due to his smooth enough performance and this Jamaican guys damn perfect performance I had enough trust and too little insecurity and paranoia to give up my cash.

well I saw the guy enter this bank. but I believe that when a bus passed by he exited and took off down an ally. after like 5 min of me standing there (see now I have stopped) I was like....what the fuck has just happened. this isnt right. none of this makes sense, how the hell did I get here, how the hell did I just give like $600 to this guy? they never made room for me to stop and think and I never made room for myself to do it. thus goes away thousands and thousands of paper bills called rupees never to be seen again. im standing there like...uhh I think this was a scam, and I just lost all my money. I was in a little shock, and im not being modest. I went into the bank and they were like no we haven't seen this guy. yada yada, and also it was dark and the bank had just closed. which was like one more clue that I didnt choose to piece together. mind you I thought of literally everything that I saw wrong, but passed it off as not the breaking point (the hand off of my cash) and put none of it together. im standing outside with some of these nice bank guys not doing much, not much to be done, saying "fuck, shit", then I start laughing. and I laughed some more.
I left the scene and walked back to colaba a good two hours with 20 rs in my pocket. thinking over in with an incredulous paroxyismic and surreal veil shrouding life. though this was a veil a tint in my perception. I walk with contentment and bliss. I was exultingly happy and i was laughing. I didn't care that I had just lost $600, and I still dont. the rage I hold is channeled upon this guy in that my actions I would commit to him where I to see him again, but I wouldn't touch that Jamaican dude, buff guy. so it was a rather semi-sish profound experience, I was surprised that it really didnt bother me this just happened, it was past and past is past, it matter no longer. and this past passed in 5 min. then my mind got a little carried away and just started going off on an uncontrollable tangent of thinking of the situation--which was simply annoying cus I wasn't able to enjoy the silence and the serenity of like first part of my walk.

I got back to my hotel. converted the $30 us I had in my wallet bought me some food called my father, talked to him about the shiza and non related stuff went to sleep, then got up and was offered by a scouter a position as an extra in some tv show or something. thus began my continued working in mumbai as a rising film star.

so that was the situation, this is the situation now let me tell you what will be the situation:
the cash on my atm which is more then I had calculated in my head, will be saved until I leave india and this region. so europe and the states. the only money I have im making daily. what started at 500rs a day has moved up to 700rs a day as an extra, and its a matter of time and meeting people before it goes up more. but im living off about 250 a day so im saving a good deal.

Now as im broke, im making some cash for fluffly purposes. I want: to do a vippassina meditation, which will be on donation. and maybe work on an eco farm volunteering, earning food and board. this incident is not ending my trip by any means, and i've looked at it in the light that this has a lot of good things for me in this happening. im living how i've been needing to live. bare bones to the max. its forcing me to do things I know would be good for me but my conviction is lacking. like farm work and vipassina and washing my own laundry by hand. less travel and more me. mediate me, radiate me, be me. I like the sound of that. Im happy, life is good and if I go off the radar, then you all know that i've forewarned you. so don't be worried. but I dont know what will happen. I never do and never will. life changes so fast. the first few days I was just swelled over with love and joy, and it was amazing to be in. so much love to give and I already had from myself, ive just gotta "learn the ways of unlove", like osho says. and that happened to a great degree when I lost my money. im not attached to $600 but im attached to my hemp hat. and would in great pain if I lost it. *wobbles head, indian style*

Enjoy what is,
Love Colin