Greed, Lies, Silence and Harmony

Yeah!
Well how does this all fall out. First I feel to splop down this little tab: that writing this blog is on the harder side as you'll all soon know why. im noticing the resistance im feeling to informing the blog readers of this incident.

So on March 28th. yea that's right. I had recently arrive back into Indian, from Thailand. chilling in mumbai. I wrote a blog. the next day everything changed. that blog said I was going to Pakistan. the present course has been shifted away from that. I also said I wasn't gonna do any more bollywood movies as a white farangi, I lied. I've done 6 shoots and have seen with my own two eyes and touched the biggest star in india: johnny Abraham, he has just released a movie called Taxi 9211 and its great, and I will be in his upcoming movie titled something like "buuble"or something in a dance club as a cool guy in a suit, though there are many. so I suppose to say this bit and back track to why I'm doing all this:

I let myself be scammed out of about 80% of my remaining funds. a great story this being the first time I've elucidated it explicitly.

I was walking. this guy approaches me, like normal in India. starts talking to me, asking me what I'm doing in Indian yada yada. he tells me he sells like rugs and stuff and is opening shop in England as well for imported Indian goods. eventually hes like I'm trying to get money over to England though and theres some funky restrictions so I need your help. Immediately, funny, *sighs* a big whaap went off inside my head that titled "SCAM" but he also said I would make some money. so I was like well might as well listen to what this guy has to say and if it is a scam then ill just tell walk away.
But it didn't happen like that. I never walked away. why? I never stopped to think about what I was doing and the situation I was in. I never stopped to put the pieces together. I never stopped. so what happened? I got caught up in the moment. I met another guy he was introduced as the tourist who did this yesterday and made money. he was from Jamaica or so he said. so everything that was said sounded great and in itself it was fine. I never touched any cash I had I just had to run convert some money into a travelers check under my name, that he gave me at a bank and give it back to him and he gives me some cash. yea so with that I didnt really care to look into the situation, because it required no collateral on my part. then he was like "but i've had my money stolen before doing this by some french guy. so I want to know that you have money before I get into this with you." this was the way he got me to withdraw money out of my atm to be able to see I had it. obviously you can read this and be like wow thats just not sounding right--- any of it. I got caught up in the moment and I got greedy, thus I didnt think.

so any who I progressed from there that we would go meet his uncle who conveniently worked at a bank and was in on this little think, where he would meet me see I had some cash then hand over cash and let me do my thing for him. though this is the part where it all fell apart, I was never supposed to give up my cash, relinquish control of it. it was never stated. and thus the reason I kept listening and walking with these guys. but then the Jamaican guy gave his cash to the guy and the guy "went to the bank and had the money counted by the uncle " returned and then it was to be my turn. he was like yea you give me your money then he counts and I come back. I was like I dont want to be away from my money. he was like okay you follow me and stand outside across the street. his reasoning being its all drawing suspicions from other curious indians. due to his smooth enough performance and this Jamaican guys damn perfect performance I had enough trust and too little insecurity and paranoia to give up my cash.

well I saw the guy enter this bank. but I believe that when a bus passed by he exited and took off down an ally. after like 5 min of me standing there (see now I have stopped) I was like....what the fuck has just happened. this isnt right. none of this makes sense, how the hell did I get here, how the hell did I just give like $600 to this guy? they never made room for me to stop and think and I never made room for myself to do it. thus goes away thousands and thousands of paper bills called rupees never to be seen again. im standing there like...uhh I think this was a scam, and I just lost all my money. I was in a little shock, and im not being modest. I went into the bank and they were like no we haven't seen this guy. yada yada, and also it was dark and the bank had just closed. which was like one more clue that I didnt choose to piece together. mind you I thought of literally everything that I saw wrong, but passed it off as not the breaking point (the hand off of my cash) and put none of it together. im standing outside with some of these nice bank guys not doing much, not much to be done, saying "fuck, shit", then I start laughing. and I laughed some more.
I left the scene and walked back to colaba a good two hours with 20 rs in my pocket. thinking over in with an incredulous paroxyismic and surreal veil shrouding life. though this was a veil a tint in my perception. I walk with contentment and bliss. I was exultingly happy and i was laughing. I didn't care that I had just lost $600, and I still dont. the rage I hold is channeled upon this guy in that my actions I would commit to him where I to see him again, but I wouldn't touch that Jamaican dude, buff guy. so it was a rather semi-sish profound experience, I was surprised that it really didnt bother me this just happened, it was past and past is past, it matter no longer. and this past passed in 5 min. then my mind got a little carried away and just started going off on an uncontrollable tangent of thinking of the situation--which was simply annoying cus I wasn't able to enjoy the silence and the serenity of like first part of my walk.

I got back to my hotel. converted the $30 us I had in my wallet bought me some food called my father, talked to him about the shiza and non related stuff went to sleep, then got up and was offered by a scouter a position as an extra in some tv show or something. thus began my continued working in mumbai as a rising film star.

so that was the situation, this is the situation now let me tell you what will be the situation:
the cash on my atm which is more then I had calculated in my head, will be saved until I leave india and this region. so europe and the states. the only money I have im making daily. what started at 500rs a day has moved up to 700rs a day as an extra, and its a matter of time and meeting people before it goes up more. but im living off about 250 a day so im saving a good deal.

Now as im broke, im making some cash for fluffly purposes. I want: to do a vippassina meditation, which will be on donation. and maybe work on an eco farm volunteering, earning food and board. this incident is not ending my trip by any means, and i've looked at it in the light that this has a lot of good things for me in this happening. im living how i've been needing to live. bare bones to the max. its forcing me to do things I know would be good for me but my conviction is lacking. like farm work and vipassina and washing my own laundry by hand. less travel and more me. mediate me, radiate me, be me. I like the sound of that. Im happy, life is good and if I go off the radar, then you all know that i've forewarned you. so don't be worried. but I dont know what will happen. I never do and never will. life changes so fast. the first few days I was just swelled over with love and joy, and it was amazing to be in. so much love to give and I already had from myself, ive just gotta "learn the ways of unlove", like osho says. and that happened to a great degree when I lost my money. im not attached to $600 but im attached to my hemp hat. and would in great pain if I lost it. *wobbles head, indian style*

Enjoy what is,
Love Colin