Stepping on the heels.
By Colin McLeod Hae Na
Location of Da' Sex Palace? Dehra Dun.
What does this mean? aah. yes Meditation, Vipassina Style in a couple hours.
Why on earth--?earth is only the ground. from there it just goes up baby.
that last ridiculousness? Kajerahao. uugh.
the last disgust? bodhgaya.
The palace of love? i only hit the back, they wanted to skin me for the front.
The movie? tah tu hhuh dude. MOVIE.
the only thing i've really bought in india, for like no reason at all? a multi- colored [varanassi] silk scarf in banaras, thats way light. so purty and fragile.
why am i writing? :did you see that tumbleweed!!!
am i enlightened? I AM
*Giggles*
is that cool? feels way good.
do you like it on top or egs poached? if the eggs were good, it wouldnt matter..but poached.
what is not italian food? spaggetthi noodles and ketchep sauce!
well. well. well.
Hoku Gone. Alex Gone. Colin.
But Alex comes back to life for a moment. Hoku is dead as a duck.
From what my memory serves:
"6 May. American Tourist, studying the Zen way. Boggles*. Alex Smith"
Dear Alex Smith,
I know not what you wrote *, nor do i know if your really Alex or just an alex.
but i have to say, that (japanease) indosan temple in bodhgaya was my favorite.
and they had a nice meditation, though i was a little off center to properly focus. the other temples were no fun. the tibeten was beautiful also the buhtanease (amazing artwork) but they werent very open.
the temples here in bodhgaya, i now explain. open at 2pm forsome many x hours. but fence you out of the alter. you walk into this immaculate space. filled with artwork, and gaudy golden buddhas, instruments and inscence. but the only let you walk about 5 feet in then bam you hit the viewing gate. behind the gate is a big box where you can donate. theres like 15temples in bodhgaya, japanease, tibetan, chinease, bangledesh, thailand, nepal so many. there all similiar. different design, but same goings. viewing gate with dontaion box. also the monks arent even around. they just give you some empty temple and you see some guys leg sticking out from the back room door reading a newspaper. maybe it changes when you come during tourist season. but then i might be more silly. eh. this was silly. and the japanease temple was cool. the outside grounds werent gated so you could freely walk around and enjoy the grass and shade. they had a playground for kids their view gate was the largest span and had the lowest gate. a modest gate about a foot off of the ground. non intrusive. a gate of modest mindfulness. then they let you cross the little shin gate and meditate at 5pm with them while they played music and sang or chanted.
but these is not the main attraction. no the famous bodhi tree where buddha attained enligtenment is here in town. yes sometimes i have expectations. what would the tree look like. rather where would it be. what would be its surroundings. well i had envisioned. a beautiful tree sitting solemnly by itself with much space to grow. with a beautiful stone under neath mearking where buddha sat and with much space between the temple and the tree. so you would be in a small garden with a tree in the center.
sighs. it made me sad and revoluted me. it was completly opposite.
the east side of the tree a MASSIVE temple was built and rebuilt. that spans straight up and side. giving no space for the tree. leaving it pressed up against this temple. w hat has happened? the tree cannot grow east and has not done so in a very long time as there are no branched that point east. now the tree grows south north and west. and it grows and grows outand out and the tree begins to lose balance. so they put big poles and suppurt the western branches of this beautiful BEAUTIFUL tree. on ground the tree is gated twice within two feet and less outside of this gate is pure cement. outside the gatehas been carved downwards. so the tree sits on a stone block and its roots cannot grow outwards to the west because a 3 foot cement block as been created. now its down and east for the roots. the small patch of earth around the tree which is very small indeed lies completly baren and moist. ugly. nothing is there. mudd. the stone where buddha sat as been transformed into a diomond shrine. a massive work of diaomands and gold and other ostentatious and gaudyness that i cant begin to see in buddha that clutters the tree . looking at the tree from6 feet away you justsee a great clutter aphixiated mess at the roots.
like i said for better or for worse. for lack of contentment here or there, i was revolted and promptly left. the grounds of this temple are nice and very big. the temple inside is all AC which is great for mediation and hot sun. inside is big golden buddha... 8 feet. i sat down and enjoyed the meditation. it was strong. as in there lies energy.
well that was bodgaya.
before that:
Banaras it was. banaras is nice, way nice. i love it. beautiful city. great vibe. the ghats are just just great. nice nice very nice. a little pressed on time.--:
anywho
i had a painful experience at the burning ghats. i came at night time. and let my heart open. for i just open up at the feel of bodies burning in holy water and natural earth. earth, wind, water, fire. baam baby. well some guy approches me starts talking. telling me things. catches my interest when he starts explaining the rituals and symbology of the whole place and its holiness. i started asking him all sorts of questions and learned many things.
where upon i touched the 7,000 year old shiva fire (eternal fire) though i was surprised at how...open, un gaurded, un protected it was. just sitting on a ledge with an over hung roof. 10 sec away from where they burn. for they use the fire to burn the bodies.
anyway he takes me up top for a better view. keeps talking of the "old lady" who takes care of people who have come to this building and are waiting for death. mentions her quite a few times and, though modestly, and you can donate to her and buy some people some wood. i rememer alex coming accross this in blogs. anywho i didnt heed his words. i had no concern to regard his words and trusting or not. and indeed i did not judge his words to be a lie. i was just vibing out in bliss and love with the fires. anywho hes like they lock roof now we leave. he had built up this "old lady" to be an honourable gracious women. he even mentioned mother terease and her... i just remarked wow she must be an amazing lady. but he took be down and said now we see old lady. she bless you, you give her donation. he said this many times. but this was my way out. he stops and approaches some figure lying down aside the wall. gives her some pushes. i told him not to wake the old lady. he was adamant. quickly she sat up and outstretched herhands. its dark, theres no light and some random women, whois in a position to be more of a homless beggar than a humanitarian, stretchs her hands out for alms.
he says now you donate, 1 quart 3 quarts of wood. as you like.
immediatly i respond : " i will not donate" he gets irritated and say why not? becausew i do not want to give you money, i say. his vexation increases. he says your making me angry do not make me angry. at this point, i stopped bowed by head (all the while holding my hand on my heart before and after) gave silence and love to my heart. came back to him and said no. he said fine give me tour fee. "no" he says i yell get many men to come up, they give you big problem. "NO". i go to leave and he grabs my arm. i continue to walk. not heeding his pull. he briskly gets in front and says fine come with me, as to take me to the men. holding my space, my heart, i exit the building with him in front. he stops outside and i keep walking giving no notice. he grabs my arm and i again take no action aside to continue. he yells at me, cursing saying "..fucking...you dont come back here again....i throw you in the fire next time i see you" i turn to him face him from the distance i am at. raise my hand prayer stytle and give him "namaste" turn and leave.
he yells so more i go give me goodbye respect to the fire with the same gesture. my heart was pounding. his threats did arouse fear in me. i was aware of how hurt i was. i left saying quietly holding my heart "not nice, very not nice" shaking my head slowly. my heart and my head were intensely alive. my head (chakra's) felt strong, no pulsing just hardcore strength as in i was connected straight up and out and it was holding me stabiliazed, as in grounded from above. and my heart, its tender pain that i nourish the rest of the night. having to do some intense medition and heart theraphy later on that night for myself.
later i ran into an old irish friend from mumbai. which was great i needed someone to hug and just talk with kindly after that.
i took a morning boat ride with some friends, very very nice. 2 hours $1 up along the holy river. on the otherside lies a white boat beached. he rowed past that and i saw two bodies floating. there are i belive 6 people they will not burn. children , pregnant women, snake bite death, leprosy, sadus oh and animals. this bodies get wrapped up with head stone and sink to the bottom. after many a long time theu decay and some escape their bondage and float up. i only saw bones and some clothes. nothing gruisome, but intense. and i hold it beautiful and with love all the same.
GOtta GO,
Truth, Love and Silence
Colin McLeod
What does this mean? aah. yes Meditation, Vipassina Style in a couple hours.
Why on earth--?earth is only the ground. from there it just goes up baby.
that last ridiculousness? Kajerahao. uugh.
the last disgust? bodhgaya.
The palace of love? i only hit the back, they wanted to skin me for the front.
The movie? tah tu hhuh dude. MOVIE.
the only thing i've really bought in india, for like no reason at all? a multi- colored [varanassi] silk scarf in banaras, thats way light. so purty and fragile.
why am i writing? :did you see that tumbleweed!!!
am i enlightened? I AM
*Giggles*
is that cool? feels way good.
do you like it on top or egs poached? if the eggs were good, it wouldnt matter..but poached.
what is not italian food? spaggetthi noodles and ketchep sauce!
well. well. well.
Hoku Gone. Alex Gone. Colin.
But Alex comes back to life for a moment. Hoku is dead as a duck.
From what my memory serves:
"6 May. American Tourist, studying the Zen way. Boggles*. Alex Smith"
Dear Alex Smith,
I know not what you wrote *, nor do i know if your really Alex or just an alex.
but i have to say, that (japanease) indosan temple in bodhgaya was my favorite.
and they had a nice meditation, though i was a little off center to properly focus. the other temples were no fun. the tibeten was beautiful also the buhtanease (amazing artwork) but they werent very open.
the temples here in bodhgaya, i now explain. open at 2pm forsome many x hours. but fence you out of the alter. you walk into this immaculate space. filled with artwork, and gaudy golden buddhas, instruments and inscence. but the only let you walk about 5 feet in then bam you hit the viewing gate. behind the gate is a big box where you can donate. theres like 15temples in bodhgaya, japanease, tibetan, chinease, bangledesh, thailand, nepal so many. there all similiar. different design, but same goings. viewing gate with dontaion box. also the monks arent even around. they just give you some empty temple and you see some guys leg sticking out from the back room door reading a newspaper. maybe it changes when you come during tourist season. but then i might be more silly. eh. this was silly. and the japanease temple was cool. the outside grounds werent gated so you could freely walk around and enjoy the grass and shade. they had a playground for kids their view gate was the largest span and had the lowest gate. a modest gate about a foot off of the ground. non intrusive. a gate of modest mindfulness. then they let you cross the little shin gate and meditate at 5pm with them while they played music and sang or chanted.
but these is not the main attraction. no the famous bodhi tree where buddha attained enligtenment is here in town. yes sometimes i have expectations. what would the tree look like. rather where would it be. what would be its surroundings. well i had envisioned. a beautiful tree sitting solemnly by itself with much space to grow. with a beautiful stone under neath mearking where buddha sat and with much space between the temple and the tree. so you would be in a small garden with a tree in the center.
sighs. it made me sad and revoluted me. it was completly opposite.
the east side of the tree a MASSIVE temple was built and rebuilt. that spans straight up and side. giving no space for the tree. leaving it pressed up against this temple. w hat has happened? the tree cannot grow east and has not done so in a very long time as there are no branched that point east. now the tree grows south north and west. and it grows and grows outand out and the tree begins to lose balance. so they put big poles and suppurt the western branches of this beautiful BEAUTIFUL tree. on ground the tree is gated twice within two feet and less outside of this gate is pure cement. outside the gatehas been carved downwards. so the tree sits on a stone block and its roots cannot grow outwards to the west because a 3 foot cement block as been created. now its down and east for the roots. the small patch of earth around the tree which is very small indeed lies completly baren and moist. ugly. nothing is there. mudd. the stone where buddha sat as been transformed into a diomond shrine. a massive work of diaomands and gold and other ostentatious and gaudyness that i cant begin to see in buddha that clutters the tree . looking at the tree from6 feet away you justsee a great clutter aphixiated mess at the roots.
like i said for better or for worse. for lack of contentment here or there, i was revolted and promptly left. the grounds of this temple are nice and very big. the temple inside is all AC which is great for mediation and hot sun. inside is big golden buddha... 8 feet. i sat down and enjoyed the meditation. it was strong. as in there lies energy.
well that was bodgaya.
before that:
Banaras it was. banaras is nice, way nice. i love it. beautiful city. great vibe. the ghats are just just great. nice nice very nice. a little pressed on time.--:
anywho
i had a painful experience at the burning ghats. i came at night time. and let my heart open. for i just open up at the feel of bodies burning in holy water and natural earth. earth, wind, water, fire. baam baby. well some guy approches me starts talking. telling me things. catches my interest when he starts explaining the rituals and symbology of the whole place and its holiness. i started asking him all sorts of questions and learned many things.
where upon i touched the 7,000 year old shiva fire (eternal fire) though i was surprised at how...open, un gaurded, un protected it was. just sitting on a ledge with an over hung roof. 10 sec away from where they burn. for they use the fire to burn the bodies.
anyway he takes me up top for a better view. keeps talking of the "old lady" who takes care of people who have come to this building and are waiting for death. mentions her quite a few times and, though modestly, and you can donate to her and buy some people some wood. i rememer alex coming accross this in blogs. anywho i didnt heed his words. i had no concern to regard his words and trusting or not. and indeed i did not judge his words to be a lie. i was just vibing out in bliss and love with the fires. anywho hes like they lock roof now we leave. he had built up this "old lady" to be an honourable gracious women. he even mentioned mother terease and her... i just remarked wow she must be an amazing lady. but he took be down and said now we see old lady. she bless you, you give her donation. he said this many times. but this was my way out. he stops and approaches some figure lying down aside the wall. gives her some pushes. i told him not to wake the old lady. he was adamant. quickly she sat up and outstretched herhands. its dark, theres no light and some random women, whois in a position to be more of a homless beggar than a humanitarian, stretchs her hands out for alms.
he says now you donate, 1 quart 3 quarts of wood. as you like.
immediatly i respond : " i will not donate" he gets irritated and say why not? becausew i do not want to give you money, i say. his vexation increases. he says your making me angry do not make me angry. at this point, i stopped bowed by head (all the while holding my hand on my heart before and after) gave silence and love to my heart. came back to him and said no. he said fine give me tour fee. "no" he says i yell get many men to come up, they give you big problem. "NO". i go to leave and he grabs my arm. i continue to walk. not heeding his pull. he briskly gets in front and says fine come with me, as to take me to the men. holding my space, my heart, i exit the building with him in front. he stops outside and i keep walking giving no notice. he grabs my arm and i again take no action aside to continue. he yells at me, cursing saying "..fucking...you dont come back here again....i throw you in the fire next time i see you" i turn to him face him from the distance i am at. raise my hand prayer stytle and give him "namaste" turn and leave.
he yells so more i go give me goodbye respect to the fire with the same gesture. my heart was pounding. his threats did arouse fear in me. i was aware of how hurt i was. i left saying quietly holding my heart "not nice, very not nice" shaking my head slowly. my heart and my head were intensely alive. my head (chakra's) felt strong, no pulsing just hardcore strength as in i was connected straight up and out and it was holding me stabiliazed, as in grounded from above. and my heart, its tender pain that i nourish the rest of the night. having to do some intense medition and heart theraphy later on that night for myself.
later i ran into an old irish friend from mumbai. which was great i needed someone to hug and just talk with kindly after that.
i took a morning boat ride with some friends, very very nice. 2 hours $1 up along the holy river. on the otherside lies a white boat beached. he rowed past that and i saw two bodies floating. there are i belive 6 people they will not burn. children , pregnant women, snake bite death, leprosy, sadus oh and animals. this bodies get wrapped up with head stone and sink to the bottom. after many a long time theu decay and some escape their bondage and float up. i only saw bones and some clothes. nothing gruisome, but intense. and i hold it beautiful and with love all the same.
GOtta GO,
Truth, Love and Silence
Colin McLeod
posted by Colin McLeod Hae Na at 6/13/2006 06:57:00 AM
2 comments
