The Boom Boom Failed?

Wait so the boom boom failed...i dont belive that question was every correctly, and clearly stated. so for the record it shall still remain allusive. but thats okay--isnt it folks. Though, and this is a BIG THOUGH:

New Official Survey:

Has Colin Paid money for Sexual Intercoarse?

Oh yes, im completly serious, before you read this today did you think i was a good little sex/no sex boy or a bad little sex boy who stars as the financial chief in matters illegal prostitution?

Dont be Shy.


Next Order of the flow sheet.

The Thai Chicks do WHAAAAT!?

Whereyu live dogg? some fat aussie in thailand hostel
Jus' how cool is Hoku? Fuck.

"Sitting with Colin in Big John's, he's trying to speak in the worst possible English accent - we don't all sit and drink tea all day either!!" -Ella, English

Im receiving a massage right nowwwwwwwwwwwwww......This one is from a friend. Finally got my visa today! They lost my application, and my receipt was "stolen along with my bag" (aka lost) so there was a lot of waiting involved. But they found it and im a happy boy.

So couple nights ago I was hanging with some people: one guy from Wyoming, one girl from Canada, a guy from Las Vegas, and bloke from New Zealand. Well we went out clubbin'm we got outrageously lashed and mortled by an incessant consumption of alcohol. It was a fun time, alcohol is very fun and interesting. Lowers those inhibitions which I think if every person did when they were sober, society would be more salubrious, significantly--Alcohol is Escapism. Anyways, we went to a couple clubs, one was 20+ due to Thai law, legal to drink at 18 but these clubs--completely decent, music and alcohol, not like whores and dancing women-- fortunately we had the girl(on the left, the one on the right was just some chick with a candied bra--the men ate at it.hu hu hu) purposefully dress "slutty" to be let in with ease and a Thai guy who did all the talking and all the work getting us in. YEA Thai Dude! Stumbling out onto the street at 2 am Lo and Behold:


Fried Scorpians!




Then a Prostitute gave me her personal phone number, covertly hiding it from the pimp that was pimpin' her and all the other prostitutes out for the club. It was crazy. We walk into this club, packed full of people, great for 3am. Against the back wall was a line a stools with women just sitting there, yea whores...So the L.V. dude was like hey "lets fuck with em"--pardon the pun.

"I had 7 mosquito bites today. And I killed 3 fucking mosquitoes with my bare fucking hands" - Gerry, signaporian

so we walk over there and he's hitting on this chick. shes actually the only beautiful women there, young 20's, the only one who doesn't look like a whore...So she left and I wanted to sit down...I smoke like 3 cigarettes that night (no worries, i have no CRAVING, I still despise just look[inserts picture of ciggerte carton--worse than england])--helps keep down the vomit reflex, and my legs were burnt out from all day--so I took her seat and then she came back and just hung around next to me. She was all dancing and having me hold her with my arms, so im like okay sitting on a stool and using my upper body to dance with her, but I was like "heh" as long as I dont have to stand ill dance with you. she told me to give her a call, but I haven't yet, that was like a week ago. Though, I would like to meet a prostitute on a non sexual meeting to actually---do prostitutes have souls?--yes yes exactly that, talk to them women.

Then we went back to fat aussie's (Big John's) hostel at 5am. I was talking (lying face down on the table in the dining room) talking to this chick, she left. Causing me to look up, I noticed dawn was becoming. I've been trying to see Wat Arun (Temple of the Dawn) at dawn for like a week 1/2 but have been unable to wake from hypnotic sleep. This was the only way it was going to happen. That made 19 hours no sleep, knew this would keep me above 24hours. I wen,t it was really nice.

"I got there about 20 min before anyone else *cough* camera happy tourists. So I had 20 min to walk around and enjoy it chanting aloud, then I took some pictures with the tourists (they were all Asians, them whities weren't up yet) I was disappointed that I couldn't go up top, I suppose I could of just walked past that no entry sign...But I didn't want no disrespect. a beautiful temple. Boat rides are fun, water smells like rotten eggs mixed with mildew, but it makes the good smells more appreciable. That night/day I stayed up 30 hours, it was intense, staying up past the allotted hangover time so all day I just felt mindless with an irritable headache."

Being conscious when your on substances is interesting, theres no more being un-conscious on drugs anymore...its impossible, drugs and alcohol for me now and really most all my life Can not be used as an escape. but now I can have fun cus as a soul im alot cleaner...hu hu hu



...Im dead, so tired.....Night.....


Couple days later with Gerry the chick from singapore and this bloke from england....names *sighs*! We decided to go SHOPPING for FOOD. but we got sidetracked along the way. Theres like Strip Joints, Private Asian Clubs (Kan), Exotica Clubs EVERYWHERE!
Eventually we made it to the super duper market of Ridiculously Prices Goods from General Mills and other Imported products from America. One Large Box of Honey Nut Cheerios $10

Cheer-ee-Ohs!

Cheer Da O's!

Cheer Da Hoes Up Get a massage! (Sex Not Included)

Toys and Pretty Girls: Do's and Don'ts, Don'ts and Do's

I'll have to wait until i'm at least 28, but 45 is reccomended more profusely. half of it isn' even about the sex, it's about the only things males have ever known: conquest. It's strutting down the street with your NEW 80 lb toy around your waist. and of course boys will be boys: toy's must be compared. the oggle is a common trait on the street. It's dangerous to walk the street alone--without a toy around your waist. you risk toys walking with you.
Smiling is above all the greatest danger. one must be extra cautious when smiling, it's far to dangerous. smiling and looking. if your eyes are caught looking at a girl and your smiling, thats like buying a drink for them, because they know you will, unless of course there's as toy already around your waist---that hasnt been my case, i've had to fend for myself. its a jungle of scantilous 80lb women.
in the end you always pay for sex. one ways a little quicker. here if your feeling shy about frankly handing over 2500 bhat then you can buy them a few drinks, some ice cream then hand the 2500 over. as it is for most men here, "blowing my tubes" is what it all comes down too, so the pick the "shy" method as it is flirtatiously more exciting and it doesn't insult their integrity--though that rarley comes into question.

it does present a problem: how do you filter out the toys, aka prostitutes, from the pretty girls you wanna converse with? how do you know if you buy them a beer, they'll be wanting you to buy sex? here a few simple tips do's and dont's or don'ts and do's(puns are prohibited):
Note: looking, smiling and acknowledging only increases the odds of Toys and pretty girls, one more than the other.
1. If a women accosts you speaking in Thai, a few simple phrases or a whole nosefull = toy
2. If a women says hello "sadee-kaa" and/or boys like a prayer (with their hands) = Pretty girl
3. If a women says Massage = Toy
4. If a women walks with you and tries to lock arms, then when responding "Mai Chai" (No) they slap your butt and leave. = Toy
5. If they're dressed modestly or whorisly for a night club = A little tricky on the modest side, but generally, Toy. (depends where)

Tina Says Hi!

Current Location: Salvation Army Hostel, Colaba District, Mumbai, India
(Feb. 7)

After Tanya the German prostitute left, i recoiled into fetal position, began to wail and moan for my lost cookie, suddenly i began to lose control and all the bananas began sprouting. After a titillating encounter with my lost friend i had to clean the floor (it was very wet), upon the arrival of the first explosion i decided to cool it a bit, so i gave away my Tupperware in exchange for a tub of ice and manjula's (real) email address. After much deliberation i told the Tej to leave it alone, he departed with a smile on his model-esk (with sunglasses) face kicking up dirt from his man machine on wheels. In my dismay at his happy departure i left to find one more cold coffee (the next day) which i silently drank with Rinchen and Kim before my own departure. They were happy; i had just bestowed upon them my Tupperware, 2 pillows, 1 blanket, 1 sheet (purple) and a winter coat which i have taken oath to recover upon my arrival back into this fair country (actually its quite dark--though there was a time say December 2 MCMXI when King George and Queen Mary (The Imperial Majesties) Landed with Oath and Honor as white powerful entities

(I wonder if they ever got attacked by banana stealin' waterbottle lickin' Cute, big, small, and nasty MONKEYS from the Island of Elephanta, which is silly and funny and touristy, and i feel weird so im staying alert and aware to try and understand whats the deal with white people in india that unnerves me so much at times, and locations specific to touring. Its obviously something in me.)
So yeah i Rubbed and Kissed Shiva's Lingam(heaven forbid i dare, ponder, hesitate to offend Shiva's Almighty Penis. Then i hiked to a different mountain (not dared by tourist's, not mentioned either), i was looking for the Buddha stupa) and i found another massive rock in a mountain carved out with a sacrificial alter for Hinduism ceremonies, and inside the yard was a HOLY Cow --me and the cow had some intense staring contest, i felt kinda bad afterwords cus i think i like invaded his private temple, but i knelt down with an Aum shanti and a Namaste to redress the cow and the temple--actually it was a little freaky. it was like death vibe and stuff. there was this pool carved in the rock full of water secluded off to the left and i peered into it and found bones! though i rationalized, and decided it was far to small to be a femur bone of a human being (the other ones were covered by earth) Then i continued on and found a big dried up whole on the top of the mountain, that was built up with stones to make a dry reservoir. and at the very tip top of the mountain i found a beautiful view of the whole island, surrounding islands, the ocean and the smog, all obscured by trees! (this is on the side of the mountain i hiked, not the top--Duh)

I met a man with a name from Boise, Iowa--Idaho....aaw--not important--who was a volunteer on the hotshots fire crew in Boise, X. yeah he fought the rodeo chediski fire back in Arizona couple years ago. crazy!

I have U.S. Dollars again, eight of them. its incredible! They're so green and greedy and i envy their sharp looks.

P.S. I forgot to mention Tina had a go at my chest of Love.


Part 2:
Current Location: Big Johns Hostel (they have Big Johns Apple Pies too),Bangkok, Thailand.
(Feb. 9)
There is one thing i need to clear up before i speak any further. I don't know Sex, I don't Know Drugs, and i DO NOT know aids. with that said i do know beauty: It doesn't take a painted island, In Tailand its flocks of women who weigh less than 100lbs and speak through their nose and throat. Heh, yea Bangkok is sweet. I was smiling the whole way from the airport in Mumbai to Big Johns Hostel in Bangkok, sporadically i would burst into orgasmic smiles which were highly contagious to any passers by, as a result i have broke the record for mass conjoined orgasms. But i just got up like one hour ago its like 1am now, i arrived at 11am (Bangkok time) the previous day i went 20hours no sleep, including that hike up a island mountain, i thought it would be cool not to sleep the four hours on the plane which would cause me to not fall asleep till big johns making a record of 27 hours no sleep. Shux! though my four hour sleep on the airplane was the epitome of serene. it was one of those perfect sleeps where you close your eyes and then you open them with no clatter, noise, just a Buddha ocean of pure silent consciousness in between. The last time (lamenting now) i slept that nice was 3rd week of jan. '06 outside of pune, a place called "The Garden of Eden" (very beautiful), with a beautiful Chilean women named Vanita. aaaw, im getting all meltin' lovin'. Who does colin miss? i shouldn't...but i do, silly lamenting attatched feelings, that leave me hanging all useless. My head is always hurting rragilbabibilayata wee!

(Feb. 10)
well i've been waiting to post these pictures for a couple days now so here are the pictures. Boom Boom--depending what country and culture your engaged in it means different things.
I'll be in thailand for like a month (after i need a visa) i leave Bangok in 5-6 days, when i get my new visa for india for 3100 baught. yea thats right what did we pay in England Alex? like $120 aaah! Im going to hit some beaches, theres supposed to be a infamous full moon party on Koh Samui, But i had some serene beaches: Haad Tien, reccomended to me by a friend so ill try that out and mosey on. then ill pick somewhere north..near a temple perhaps. But the next blog be about me and thailand adventures...Night Day...It's all the same here! Im going to go find some temples and eat me some thai food "Wai" folks.

P.S. 50 cent is coming to Bangkok Feb 26.

Whats Your Boom Boom (Survey)?

Everyone has got their Boom Boom's, some are in Thailand, others are in India. Whether you Boom with The Sacred Charas or you Boom with your Hormones, No matter; Some of you Gots to Boom Boom, It's only natural (I got that) Boom Boom -That you want, Watching Me all night long Slap it down...and pay tribute to the blog.

A) Boom Boom in the Pants Or Boom Boom with the joint?
B) What Country do you Boom Boom In?
C) Your best Boom Boom?

Sobriety's Failure.

Who wants to see Semi-Nude-More than Semi Drunk-Colin...heh huh hoo ha hee hoy hafala hafala twididdly-hee.











So Eventually...

...A couple hours later

...A few more beers

...Alot of persuasion

...A pair of dirty jeans almost flew off. But I ran out of beer, and Pune is very cold...at night.

....Yea yea, I know, Like how lame am I? I found Jesus and won't even De-Robe for you all.











[Tej, Rinchen, Colin]Plastered? YES! [Shantam, Kim, Colin]


...Actually Alex found Jesus after Jesus hit me with a brand new COLD COFFEE!

And then Alex is like I'm all Women, But only on the weekends, when Pink Lungi's are in style.

Buddha Paradise makes the best Cold Coffee's on this side of da' world...But more about that later.

So like Thailand.......yea.

WOW! WHO CAN SAY SKIDATTLE? Its actually not that important, but never the less.

So Today is my last night in Pune. Alex leaves today to travel northwards and I will be in Thailand on Feb 8 at 10am. Alex and I were going to travel together, but our tickets are being not fun when we wanna change them, so alex declined thailand at this point in time, I however am going to pay some extra $$$ to purchase a plane ticket back to India from Thailand. Originally i wanted to Fly Thailand then trek north and hook my way back into india from the north east. But theres a a few hot water nuts filled with BOOM BOOM's in the way.....Landmines, to be precise. Yea well it seems that Myanmar (Burma) is a really sexy country (country defined by landscape and people) but their government is totally atrocious, which was only the first minor snag that i would have worked past.
I can get into Burma fine, $200 in government bonds that support slave labor, then lots of authorities keeping tabs on me, searching me all the time, no biggy right? mind your manners keep the black market in thailand and your good, The internet said they would comfiscate porno, pro-democracy words, journalists cameras and stuff. for me thats not a problem because i let shantom keep his porno, and the only pro-democratic words i speak....no i really don't, as far as cameras go: if i don't take pictures of anything governmental (military) or bridges ill be okay!

The big problem is once i get in the country im gonna have trouble leaving. The sliver of a border between myanmar and Bangledesh is laced with landmines (Myanmar side) and Bangladesh has cordoned off the border crossing for like 18 years. The 2nd border crossing is into North India, but the bordered states required special visa's to enter in which a party of 4 or more is required. the third option is China, sounds like it would be pretty and stuff, but chinas no fun and their way expensive and their border relations with India are just as bad.

So you see this quandary, has been quickly quelled by political turmoil! Very very sad. Thailand it is, and maybe some Vietnam and a little cambodia. Then back to India (northern) and then a little or lot of Nepal and Bhutan.

[Spiritual stuff] yea it's nice, lots of silence.

[Women Stuff] woo--no woum....oon---no woum..n, hmm woomn. wumin!

[Travel stuff] spoken so much.

[Drugs'n'Stuff] Drugs.

[Future Endeavors] Like Hitchhike America, and Work the world. (Sweden, England/Scottland, Italy (commune), India (Customer Support for Citi-bank).

[Beauty in the Resort] Night time Samadhi Chakra Sounds Meditation. Its one of those where you try to speak but if you speed up the sounds that excreet from your mouth it would sound something like choking on poop.

It hurts when i laugh. Osho's like: "Laughter is poison for the ego", Osho is in accordance with my experience. theres like this pounding sensation in my head when i laugh at the ego and it hurts. Aouw!

Ye aumm like yea and stuff, my head doesnt want to speak...for like the first time. Im like dead, not much to say, not doing much. but thats all relative...like a rode a camel yesterday, then like i got off and the boy is like MONEY MONEY...$200rs. I was like BABA' not even cool to try to charge me that much, i walked away then walked back and gave him 20rs.

Ciao
Pop some more pictures on tommarow when i recharge my batteries.


Man that is some ridiculous shit! These guys got a name nut i forget, so yea im writing and then i hear all this commotion inside this computer place, some guy is like slapping is other hand forcefully and stuff. speaking in hindi and stuff. so yea somehow its like "legal" and like people are supposed to give money to beggars, but not just any beggars. the government is like crossdressers have a right to beg for cash and your like supposed to give it to them if they ask. which is way ridiculous cus this crossdressor dude just came in here demanding money from this business. Baah!